she's so wise and sexy! (Lessons I (re-)Learned this Week)
A very vague but possibly helpful post...
1.
The urges that you experience are not only indicative of your desires but also the desire of the collective - a notion discovered through ayandastood's youtube channel. It was so powerful bc she herself spoke about her own doubts and insecurities when it came to being seen, but that she knew she had a message that others want and need to hear--resonated so much for me, bc for her, I was one of the ppl that needed and wanted her work! (to keep yourself small and not seen is not only a disservice to yourself wrt your self-actualization, but a disservice to others bc you are withholding the insight, art, creativity, beauty, joy, lessons that only you can provide!)
2.
When it comes to vibe-matching frequencies, don't settle for ppl and vibes that you don't actually mesh with, in this "realistic" way that ppl can push onto you. Don't settle for ppl and environments and vibes that don't actually match your true self. Even if you like them, cherish them, and appreciate what they have given you. The best for both of you is the best for both of you, and it's not all-or-nothing, 100% or 0%, there can be levels to connections and friendship!
3.
In the same vein, trust your intuition and don't self-abnegate, breaking your self-trust! Yes, even though they were fully welcoming and are lovely, you don't fully vibe with them and you knew that from the start due to their environment, vibe, and their, uh, zionism! Only when the zionism was more blatantly confirmed did I feel relief, like oh, i've been trying to force it (sewing seeds of self-doubt, what if I'm wrong and i actually have to be this way, and fit into these spaces, and dress like this, and act like this, and want this..) when in reality I was right all along! these are not my people and this isn't my vibe (like i cant fuck with u fully - i was getting the ignorant vibe but this confirmed it..) ! And I don't need to try to force myself into a place--and lower my frequency!--to fit to other ppl's SMALL (to me) reality.
4.
we all really do get dealt our own unique problems and video game bosses, you rlly do have to make the best of the cards you were dealt with--reiterated once again how much i admire this in other ppl. The way that they shine even with that adversity (facial disfigurements, acid attacks, mom has cancer, etc. etc.) and they bring joy in the world, accept and love themselves, and bring such abundance and lightness and joy, warmth and acceptance. It just generates an accepting and welcoming response as well. (also applies with your appearance and features, rlly settling into yourself, and enhancing your own natural beauty + personal features, becoming the best you rather than self-abnegation + instagram face, everybody looks the same...)
life was dragging me by my thong for a bit, but i've really stepped into higher frequencies recently and really enjoyable and fun vibes! those will have to be for my diary tho❤️
Also, the feeling of comfortability and--this will be so oddly specific--wearing my black aritzia cardigan (wearing the clothes that i do have, settling into life). Rlly like the times when i just settle into the present, like settling into the couch, cozy, with my mug, and blankets, and sweaters.
what's the stitch
- The usual kinda, tbh, nothing that stands out particularly atm, u missed me when i was going through the 2000s, deftones, 30H!3, kesha, katy perry, austin mahone, sorry for party rocking...
- Now, I'm rlly feeling nothing exhilarating, just calming and peaceful.. (sad songs to relax)
- im even feeling sometimes wanting to listening to nothing, since i've been listening to music non-stop but not in a resonating way..
- Sleepyhead - passion pit
- Beaches - beabadoobee
- ss - ken carson
- washed out! - colin kennedy (haven't listened to in full)
- (before): help me - real boston richey, make a wish - bayymack et al., not my problem - Laila!, and ofc even older: wutiwant, love potions, tulsa jesus freak, chemtrails over the country club--this is why i can't do music recs bc i listen to so much of so many genres and it changes minute-per-minute so i feel i can't leave one out lest i drop a vibe!! or portray a vibe that i don't want (but alas that's a whole uve gotta get comfy being misunderstood thing)
- Would u believe me that uk rap is some of my comfort songs? 😭 barking & wifey riddim lolll, headshot & leaked have been solid faves
- oldie songs: be my baby, only have eyes for you, forever, dream a little dream of me, spanish (piel canela or the whole gata only bad bunny vibe)
- lana very often, but i can't when i get too subsumed in liberalism like i need a break (december last year was lana's jealous girl and trash magic, literally such a time, and it was so new and like staying in the present/excited for the future, not clutching onto the past..)
Current wishlist:
- Intimissimi boat neck top in that iron-ish blue
- Butterfly tooth gem (idc that it's not summer, i wanna be bejeweled or bedazzled all year long), decked out ears (Body Vision LA booklets at the piercer's...)
- Butterfly belly ring top
- Nails
- Brows done, lash lift
- rom&nd mascara in long ash (soft summer)
- wool coat
- new scent for fall - saltair body oil, kopari scents, maybe baccarat rouge, pear gelato by theodor kholantis or whoever.. bianco latte?? my beginner little fragrantica
- Voluminizer beachwaver hair product
- Mousse for hair prep
- bangles
- silver thick hoops (or heaven mayhem wing earrings)
- farr future: bayalage to look rich
- if i could find soft summer: well trench/wool coat obvs, babydoll top, off the shoulder sweater, cardigan... just basic scoopneck long sleeves, ruffle blouse (carrie bradshaw, in the summer, with nameplate necklace), fitted office siren blouse (with tiger mist kittie pants + slingbacks vibe...)
- Thin belts, and thick (for denim skirt, when wearing skinny (at least on top) jeans + low-cut fitted top... - kinda gives telanovela star vibes...), knit sets (like cardigan, or hoodie long pants set), foldover leggings set...
- more jeans from the h&m girls section (the inseam! fits so perfectly!)
- gooseberry intimates lingerie including the teddy/body suit
- stuff to replicate candice swanepoel's 2012 circus theme VS fashion show look, or, the sexy
detective look for halloween (post coming!) - vintage watch (depop, etsy), bangles, bracelets for the stack
- Bohomoon rings
- activewear with a bow in the hair (if ssu)
- laptop cover from burga
- work coordinated rich sets, and vestique sweater set
- vintage coach bags, fun bags (imagine the miu miu or balenciaga city...) + matching shoes or accessories... - the 2000s fall...
- linkedin headshot
- before, it's blair waldorf hard headband (emi jay has a nice lace one but it's not ssu)
k that's enough of the spewing word splatter, bye sexies xx
